Teaching Fathers How To Be Just That
By Kylee Patrick Email
A total of 28,338 inmates were in Alabama prisons in March of 2007, according to the latest report. That is more than equal to half the amount of people living in the city limits of Auburn.
Many of the men and women sent to jail will eventually be released. Life after jail can be tough. It’s hard to find jobs, be accepted by society and face other dilemmas people who haven’t been there cannot begin to imagine. Instead of leaving men who have been released from these prison to fend for themselves, a program called the National Fatherhood Initiative is helping them make a better life.
Sharon Gilbert, a Regional Extension Agent who serves eight different counties for the Alabama Cooperative Extensive System at Auburn University, works closely with the National Fatherhood Initiative.
Gilbert works mainly with the Bibb County DADS Program. She keeps this program going strong by making sure its goals are reached to the fullest.
The National Fatherhood Initiative’s mission is “to improve the well being of children by increasing the proportion of children growing up with involved, responsible, and committed fathers,” according to the National Fatherhood Initiative’s Web site, www.fatherhood.org. It tries to accomplish this mission by what it calls “educating, equipping, and engaging.”
“An important aspect of this is to try to change behaviors, try to change mind-sets,” Gilbert said. “Letting them know this may be where you come from, but it doesn’t have to be where you end up.”
Men in the state’s prisons who are usually non-custodial fathers are chosen for the program. Most classes teach anywhere from 17 to 30 men weekly for about an hour and a half.
The only catch is that no sex offenders are allowed in. Employees with the program are not sure what crimes their students have committed, but they never work in maximum security prisons.
Some men may lack parenting skills because of their own fathers. In order to give these men a better understanding of what it takes to be a good dad, they are instructed in many different areas of parenthood.
In Gilbert’s case at Bibb County DADS, she teaches a curriculum called “Doctor Dad.” It focuses on teaching new fathers how to do the physical aspects of parenting. Prisoners are taught how to change diapers, get a bottle ready and make their homes safe for young children.
“Anything that a parent might face, we try to cover,” Gilbert said.
Bibb County DADS also tackles other problems, like drug abuse, that need to be dealt with first before they can think about their fathering.
“We try to take them step by step,” Gilbert said. “Find out where they are, and so you actually do end up building a long-term relationship with them.”
Each father who goes through the program is assigned a case manager. Richard Smith is one for the fatherhood program in Bibb County.
“What’s best is trying to tell them it’s not too late to establish a relationship with their children,” Smith said. “Letting them know that, hey- a lot of times it’s not going to be easy.”
Case managers working through the program are involved with the education aspect. Smith is also proactive in alternative schools helping to “prevent the onset of fatherhood.”
Smith, who has two sons of his own, says that showing the men he is there to help them and make sure they get a fair break is important to him.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2005 American Community Survey, in Alabama alone there were 153,815 single-mother households. There were only 33,659 single-father households in the state.
Bibb County DADS focuses on helping their students become better men and have better relationships with their children. It sees communication as a strong point to work on so that fathers and mothers can get along better, which in turn makes it easier on the children.
“I think the main thing I drill with them is communication,” Smith said. “Being a good listener.”
One new thing Bibb County DADS is trying out soon is a recognition program. “Trojan Men” will be a special time to recognize the fathers for completing the program in front of family and friends. To some men, this self-esteem boost may be the only award they have ever won.
When asked if she likes working with this program Gilbert said, “Actually I do because it’s good to see that they are actually wanting to know this information and trying to make a difference.”
She enjoys her job, although she wasn’t quite sold on the idea of working in the prisons when she first started. Being told horror stories about women employees accidently being put into prison cells during a lock down made her a little uneasy. But keeping in mind the difference she’s making puts it in a whole new perspective.
The National Fatherhood Initiative in Alabama receives grants through the Children’s Trust Fund and is partnered with the Department of Human Resources. The Bibb County DADS Program has received $50,000 in grants just this year alone. Auburn University’s Outreach Program also supports this cause.
Although the program started in prisons, Alabama’s sections of the National Fatherhood Initiative are starting to put less focus on incarcerated men and instead on men in the communities. Employees work with the Department of Human Resources to find men who are involved in child support cases who need assistance. Judges in these locations can now mandate that men go through the program to keep from going back to jail.
The men going through the program in the prisons enjoy the classes, according to Gilbert. “They’re all so orderly, and they’re quiet,” she said. “And they interact with the classes being taught.”
Gilbert mentioned how surprised she and some coworkers were to find out one of their incarcerated students had a bachelor’s degree.
Everyone makes mistakes, some just pay harsher consequences than others. The National Fatherhood Initiative helps those who are paying those high prices turn their lives around so that they can turn their children’s lives around.
“I know people that don’t have a relationship with their father,” Gilbert said. “And I always think about that.”
Spotlight on Sharon Gilbert
Sharon Gilbert has been a Regional Extension Agent for three years. She works closely with the National Fatherhood Initiative’s Bibb County DADS program. She serves eight counties in Alabama and is constantly on the go.
Originally from Henry County, Gilbert has seen the devastating effects a non-involved father can make in a child’s life. “I know people that don’t have a relationship with their fathers,” she said. “And I always think about that.”
She graduated from the University of Montevallo in 1981 and is now going to the University of Alabama to get a master’s degree in family financial planning. She worked for Alabama Power for 14 years in their customer service department. She then went on to work for United Health Care.
Gilbert says it was “divine intervention” that she ended up working for Extension. She remembers her mother working for the same organization when she was young. Her mother taught many underprivileged homemakers how to cook.
She said she believes in the fatherhood program to the fullest and knows that it is desperately needed.
For more information about Bibb County DADS or the National Fatherhood Initiative, please contact Gilbert at 334.382.5111 or at gilbese@auburn.edu.
Questions about this page
Last updated May 03, 2007